but, I'm baaaack!
Ok, ok - I know no one really missed me, so I'm not going to expect a grand Welcome back, but it would be nice ;)
I have been so busy at my job, that I've actually had to work my full 8 hours a day and then some, which in turn took away from my "blog" time. I've had some interesting stories to share, but with all the knowledge I've been forced to retain at work, I've forgotten what I was going to say.
I'm expecting to get my income tax check tomorrow (yay for me!) so this weekend will be filling with an exciting shopping extravaganza! Not really - I am not a compulsive spender, buyer or gambler. I will hord that money until the next refund is due. I do have a list of items I need to get and a few things I WILL splurge on, but then the rest is on lockdown.
Soccer season has started again (futbol for those who prefer the correct term) and they are jam packing in the games this time around. This weekend alone there are three games scheduled - but they are so much fun I am not complaining. A busy schedule just makes relaxing on my days off hard to do.
I'm really supposed to be working my tail off right now with the 30+ projects we have going on, but I woke up very unmotivated this morning. I am hungry and tired and all I can think about right now is Taco Bueno. I don't know why, but they must put drugs in their food or something because to me it is completely addictive. I could go there everyday and eat if it didn't make my ass as wide as the state of Texas.
Speaking of weight, I have put on a considerable amount of weight in the last 2 years and its really starting to bug me. I'm not one of these people that just bitches about it and does nothing - I used to work out everyday very vigorously. Lately I haven't had a lot of time to myself with my demanding son, my demanding job, chores and attempting to have a personal life. Now that things are settling I think its time to join a gym and get busy on getting back in shape. In 2 months I'll be back at my norm and then I'll find something else to work on. Of course, that likely means my blog will suffer once again. Er, maybe not.
Anyway, I'm glad I had this opportunity to at least get a couple of entries end before the months end and say that I haven't given up.
Take care!
Jelly
28 February 2008
Company Policies - posted in the breakroom
Dress Code:
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary; the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under The "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary; the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under The "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
10 February 2008
Energy Efficient or an Environmental Hazard?
Their called CFL’s, which stands for compact fluorescent lamps, and they are becoming all the rage. Government officials and retailers like Wal-Mart are all pushing the idea of replacing incandescent light bulbs with these energy saving and money saving compact fluorescent lamps. Most of the world today – fearing global warming – are getting ready to ban incandescent light bulbs.
08 February 2008
07 February 2008
Jeff Dunham and Achmed the suicide bomber
This video is sooooo funny! I hope no one get's offended, but if you do, oh well. That's too bad for you. Check out the video and let me know what you think.
04 February 2008
Business blogger is giving away $500!!!!
Doesn’t this sound exciting? Exciting enough to get me to blog about it, that’s for sure. Business Blogger is giving away $500 cash and a BFG NVIDIA graphics card just for blogging about this contest.
This contest will be going on the entire month of February, so even though this is the shortest month of the year, you still have plenty of time to submit your post and get yourself entered in for a chance to win an amazing prize! Who out there wouldn’t benefit from some FREE cash to buy something nice for yourself, or something extravagant for a loved one. Throw in a super cool video card – and make your blogging experience that much better. There will be two winners that will be selected randomly, one taking the cash and the other the video card.
Business blogger has some really great information for anyone that is trying to make some money online. There are tips for those that are new and even for the most serious entrepreneurs. Also, check out Business+Directory which is a great advertising center for your business.
There are 3 rules to qualify for the prizes:
1. Link to the contest page
2. link to Business+Directory
3. submit your original post of at least 250 words – must be unique so don’t do make a fool by copying someone else’s content
That’s it, very simple to do. Entries will be calculated after the contest ends and the prizes will be awarded sometime in March. Take care and good luck to you all!
This contest will be going on the entire month of February, so even though this is the shortest month of the year, you still have plenty of time to submit your post and get yourself entered in for a chance to win an amazing prize! Who out there wouldn’t benefit from some FREE cash to buy something nice for yourself, or something extravagant for a loved one. Throw in a super cool video card – and make your blogging experience that much better. There will be two winners that will be selected randomly, one taking the cash and the other the video card.
Business blogger has some really great information for anyone that is trying to make some money online. There are tips for those that are new and even for the most serious entrepreneurs. Also, check out Business+Directory which is a great advertising center for your business.
There are 3 rules to qualify for the prizes:
1. Link to the contest page
2. link to Business+Directory
3. submit your original post of at least 250 words – must be unique so don’t do make a fool by copying someone else’s content
That’s it, very simple to do. Entries will be calculated after the contest ends and the prizes will be awarded sometime in March. Take care and good luck to you all!
Fallen victim to the eyebrow bandit
Many women (and men) pluck their eyebrows or have them waxed or threaded to define the shape and keep them tame. Eyebrow plucking is done in an attempt to achieve beautiful eyebrows. One problem with eyebrow shaping is overplucking, but for the “cholas”, mostly found on the west coast, it’s overarching.
01 February 2008
What is Victoria's Secret?
After years of suspense...
The question of the day is "What is Victoria's Secret?
The answer is ...
The question of the day is "What is Victoria's Secret?
The answer is ...
FBI Job opening
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...Kill Her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. Then man came out with tears in his yes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
LESSON LEARNED:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with us!
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...Kill Her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. Then man came out with tears in his yes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
LESSON LEARNED:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with us!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)