I've been crying a lot lately. I'm stressed because I am having to move, then my bf told me he is not moving with me. He's moving back to F.W. because its closer to his son and his family. He needs to be there for his son to help him with his school work and get him back on track.
I'm sad because I will be alone, and I don't have any friends that like to spend time with me, and I have to force myself on my family because they are just as secluded as I am. We live our own lives, and this is one of the downfalls of being independent and having a small family.
I'm crying now, because this all makes me so sad. I feel pathetic because I don't like to be alone, I CAN'T be alone - but I'm not alone. I have a wonderful 6 yr. old son but his company alone is not enough for me. He wants me to be his friend and I need some adult companionship.
My bf has been really great helping me get ready for the move and he'll help me get moved into my new place, but everytime I think about him not being here it breaks my heart. He'll never read this but he knows how much I'm going to miss him. I miss him already and he hasn't even left yet.
I'm sure I'll get thru this, I just got thru a divorce that lasted over a year. I got thru the last breakup, I got thru the depression and the anger and the hurt. Why does everyone always leave me? My son loves me unconditionally - him and my mother are about the only ones. My sister loves me but she doesn't understand how much more I need from her but I don't ask because I know she's dealing with her own problems.
I hope to be able to win his love back again. All his actions show me he loves me, and I hope he's not just being nice to get thru the next couple of weeks until he's out in his own place. He's such a great man - and I screwed something up. He told me his reasons for needing to do this but as much sense as it makes - I still think I did something wrong and pushed him away.
Everytime I get a text I hope its from him... sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. I know he's busy at work and so I don't expect him to be available to me every minute of everyday. But when I do get a text I'm happy that he's thinking of me.
24 July 2008
10 April 2008
Why It Is Important to Understand English
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line...Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?'
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations.'
The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too!'
Short line...Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?'
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations.'
The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too!'
09 April 2008
I will wear blue... will you?
Blue Fridays.
Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing blue every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing. Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -- and continues each and
every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that ... every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something blue. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of blue much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in BLUE and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on. The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is ...'We need your support and your prayers.' Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear
something blue every Friday.
WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE
IF YOU ARE NOT BEHIND OUR TROOPS THEN STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
Where to buy American gasoline
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. READ ON.
Gas rationing in the 70's worked even though we grumbled about it. It might even have been good for us!
Are you aware that the Saudis are boycotting American products?
Shouldn't we return the favor? Can't we take control of our own destiny and let these giant oil importers know who REALLY generates their profits, their livings? How about leaving American Dollars in America and reduce the import/export deficit?
An appealing remedy might be to boycott their GAS. Every time you fill up your car you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just purchase gas from companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.
Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill up my tank, I'm sending my money to people who I get the impression want me, my family and my friends dead. Don't you think it might be of interest to know which oil companies import Middle Eastern oil and which do not?
These companies import Middle Eastern oil:
Shell................................... 205,742,000 barrels
Chevron/Texaco.................. 144,332,000 barrels
Exxon /Mobil....................... 130,082,000 barrels
Marathon/Speedway............ 117,740,000 barrels
Amoco................................ 62,231,000 barrels
And CITGO oil is imported from Venezuela by Dictator Hugo Chavez who hates America and openly avows our economic destruction! (We pay Chavez's regime nearly $10 Billion per year in oil revenues!)
The U.S. currently imports 5,517,000 barrels of crude oil per day from OPEC. If you do the math at $95 per barrel (now it's over $100) that's over $524 million PER DAY ($191 BILLION per year!) handed over to OPEC, many of whose members are our confirmed enemies!!!!!
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Sunoco....................... 0 barrels
Conoco....................... 0 barrels
Sinclair....................... 0 barrels
BP / Phillips................ 0 barrels
Hess. ........................ 0 barrels
ARC0......................... 0 barrels
Maverick.................... 0 barrels
Flying J. .................... 0 barrels
Valero........................ 0 barrels
All of this information is available from the U.S. Department of Energy and each company is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.
But to have a real impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. With the help of the internet, it's really simple to do. Now, don't wimp out at this point....keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at only ten more (30 x 10 = 300)....and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)....and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers!!!!!!!
If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it....THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE--the entire population of the United States of America!!!!
Gas rationing in the 70's worked even though we grumbled about it. It might even have been good for us!
Are you aware that the Saudis are boycotting American products?
Shouldn't we return the favor? Can't we take control of our own destiny and let these giant oil importers know who REALLY generates their profits, their livings? How about leaving American Dollars in America and reduce the import/export deficit?
An appealing remedy might be to boycott their GAS. Every time you fill up your car you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just purchase gas from companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.
Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill up my tank, I'm sending my money to people who I get the impression want me, my family and my friends dead. Don't you think it might be of interest to know which oil companies import Middle Eastern oil and which do not?
These companies import Middle Eastern oil:
Shell................................... 205,742,000 barrels
Chevron/Texaco.................. 144,332,000 barrels
Exxon /Mobil....................... 130,082,000 barrels
Marathon/Speedway............ 117,740,000 barrels
Amoco................................ 62,231,000 barrels
And CITGO oil is imported from Venezuela by Dictator Hugo Chavez who hates America and openly avows our economic destruction! (We pay Chavez's regime nearly $10 Billion per year in oil revenues!)
The U.S. currently imports 5,517,000 barrels of crude oil per day from OPEC. If you do the math at $95 per barrel (now it's over $100) that's over $524 million PER DAY ($191 BILLION per year!) handed over to OPEC, many of whose members are our confirmed enemies!!!!!
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Sunoco....................... 0 barrels
Conoco....................... 0 barrels
Sinclair....................... 0 barrels
BP / Phillips................ 0 barrels
Hess. ........................ 0 barrels
ARC0......................... 0 barrels
Maverick.................... 0 barrels
Flying J. .................... 0 barrels
Valero........................ 0 barrels
All of this information is available from the U.S. Department of Energy and each company is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.
But to have a real impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. With the help of the internet, it's really simple to do. Now, don't wimp out at this point....keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at only ten more (30 x 10 = 300)....and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)....and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers!!!!!!!
If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it....THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE--the entire population of the United States of America!!!!
Aunt Mildred
Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast'.
Later that night........ Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast'.
Later that night........ Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
02 April 2008
Let's get out of our own way, shall we?
One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big notice on the door which
read:
"Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the gym".
In the beginning, they all were sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security was ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought:
"Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!" One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin:
everyone who looked inside it could see himself.There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:
"There is only one person who is capable
to set limits to your growth: it is YOU."
The Lesson...You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life. "The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself"
read:
"Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the gym".
In the beginning, they all were sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security was ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought:
"Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!" One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin:
everyone who looked inside it could see himself.There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:
"There is only one person who is capable
to set limits to your growth: it is YOU."
The Lesson...You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life. "The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself"
28 March 2008
Living in Texas!
May 30th
Just moved to Houston. Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a park lying outside on a balmy night. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home with a pool, drive an air-conditioned car; what a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th
Fell asleep at the pool (got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th
Feels like it's 125 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid city.
Aug 8th
If another wiseass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Aug 9th
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do ANYTHING for 2 damn months and the wise ass weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to a 115 today. I forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas!
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Dogs vs. Cats
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs .
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
Guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe.
For now....
21 March 2008
Politicians and their many scandals
Doesn’t it seem odd how often we hear about all the scandals that go down in politics? Money laundering, sex scandals, cover-ups of bribery, and abuse of public trust are just a few of categories to mention. It seems like the only time I really know the details of a person’s political background is when the dirt comes out about their alleged wrong doings and its displayed all over the news and internet stories.
05 March 2008
Strange dreams
I've been having some very vivid dreams lately.
Early this morning I was dreaming that it was hailing outside and I was bitching about my car getting damage and M and I were looking out the window at the hailstorm. I felt air coming in from behind me and I noticed one of the windows in another area of the house was damaged. Likely from the hail, as it looked like a baseball was thrown thru the glass, and there were several other holes in the glass... so my main concern was to get it fixed - and M was running around looking for duct tape. Yes, a man's 2nd best friend is duct tape. So, as he was looking for the tape, I noticed another window was wide open and then that stuck out as very strange because I know I would not have opened a window in the midst of a storm. As I started to approach the window, I felt this eerie feeling that someone was in the house. I headed towards the kitchen where I knew I could find a weapon, and there on the counter was a very large cutting knife. As I was reaching for it someone grabbed me and I was trying to yell as loud as I could for M, while trying to stab the arm of my assailant. I could see the arm and the knife going in, but I could not scream. All I could hear was moaning - and that sound you make in your dreams when you're trying to scream and can't. My alarm went off not to long after the attack, and I don't remember if I was actually hurt or not... but M thought I was having a REALLY good time in my dream.
Apparently he was watching me while I was having this bad dream because he thought I was going to say something that he could understand. He figured I was going to say a name or say something sexual because he thought I was having sex and moaning in my dream.
It wasn't really funny to me, but it was after I told him what I was dreaming about because of what he thought was going on. All day today I've had the lyrics by The Romantics running through my head - "I hear the secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep".
I've read that dreams tell a lot about situations or circumstances that are actually going on in your life. Dream theorists have said falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. My dream could be interpreted as being chased or being attacked...and chase dreams may represent a way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault.
I'm not really sure why I'm having these dreams about being chased or not being able to scream as if I feel my life is out of control - but I don't really feel stressed or scared of anything that I can think of at the moment. Things are settling down for me, I'm more in control of my life than I have been in years. I've always had really strange dreams. Maybe if I talk about them more I can figure out why they keep happening. They are never the same though, so it's not a reoccurring dream - but its usually about me getting hurt or someone else. Kinda morbid, I know... I've always been this way.
Early this morning I was dreaming that it was hailing outside and I was bitching about my car getting damage and M and I were looking out the window at the hailstorm. I felt air coming in from behind me and I noticed one of the windows in another area of the house was damaged. Likely from the hail, as it looked like a baseball was thrown thru the glass, and there were several other holes in the glass... so my main concern was to get it fixed - and M was running around looking for duct tape. Yes, a man's 2nd best friend is duct tape. So, as he was looking for the tape, I noticed another window was wide open and then that stuck out as very strange because I know I would not have opened a window in the midst of a storm. As I started to approach the window, I felt this eerie feeling that someone was in the house. I headed towards the kitchen where I knew I could find a weapon, and there on the counter was a very large cutting knife. As I was reaching for it someone grabbed me and I was trying to yell as loud as I could for M, while trying to stab the arm of my assailant. I could see the arm and the knife going in, but I could not scream. All I could hear was moaning - and that sound you make in your dreams when you're trying to scream and can't. My alarm went off not to long after the attack, and I don't remember if I was actually hurt or not... but M thought I was having a REALLY good time in my dream.
Apparently he was watching me while I was having this bad dream because he thought I was going to say something that he could understand. He figured I was going to say a name or say something sexual because he thought I was having sex and moaning in my dream.
It wasn't really funny to me, but it was after I told him what I was dreaming about because of what he thought was going on. All day today I've had the lyrics by The Romantics running through my head - "I hear the secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep".
I've read that dreams tell a lot about situations or circumstances that are actually going on in your life. Dream theorists have said falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. My dream could be interpreted as being chased or being attacked...and chase dreams may represent a way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault.
I'm not really sure why I'm having these dreams about being chased or not being able to scream as if I feel my life is out of control - but I don't really feel stressed or scared of anything that I can think of at the moment. Things are settling down for me, I'm more in control of my life than I have been in years. I've always had really strange dreams. Maybe if I talk about them more I can figure out why they keep happening. They are never the same though, so it's not a reoccurring dream - but its usually about me getting hurt or someone else. Kinda morbid, I know... I've always been this way.
04 March 2008
Work Buzzwords
Work BuzzWords of ‘07
Blamestorming:
A group discussion about why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
Salmon Day:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up to see what's going on.
Mouse Potato:
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
Swipeout:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TIREDs:
Thirty-something Independent Radical Educated Dropouts. Anyone over thirty taking a gap year and calling it a 'career break'.
Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for taking free copies from one's workplace photocopier.
Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of hitting an electronic device to get it to work again.
Adminisphere:
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often completely inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found,' meaning that the requested document could not be located.
Generica:
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
Ohnosecond:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFs:
Well-Off Older Folks.
Crop Dusting:
Surreptitiously passing wind while walking through a cube farm.
Blamestorming:
A group discussion about why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
Salmon Day:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up to see what's going on.
Mouse Potato:
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
Swipeout:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TIREDs:
Thirty-something Independent Radical Educated Dropouts. Anyone over thirty taking a gap year and calling it a 'career break'.
Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for taking free copies from one's workplace photocopier.
Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of hitting an electronic device to get it to work again.
Adminisphere:
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often completely inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found,' meaning that the requested document could not be located.
Generica:
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
Ohnosecond:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFs:
Well-Off Older Folks.
Crop Dusting:
Surreptitiously passing wind while walking through a cube farm.
28 February 2008
I've been MIA for a while...
but, I'm baaaack!
Ok, ok - I know no one really missed me, so I'm not going to expect a grand Welcome back, but it would be nice ;)
I have been so busy at my job, that I've actually had to work my full 8 hours a day and then some, which in turn took away from my "blog" time. I've had some interesting stories to share, but with all the knowledge I've been forced to retain at work, I've forgotten what I was going to say.
I'm expecting to get my income tax check tomorrow (yay for me!) so this weekend will be filling with an exciting shopping extravaganza! Not really - I am not a compulsive spender, buyer or gambler. I will hord that money until the next refund is due. I do have a list of items I need to get and a few things I WILL splurge on, but then the rest is on lockdown.
Soccer season has started again (futbol for those who prefer the correct term) and they are jam packing in the games this time around. This weekend alone there are three games scheduled - but they are so much fun I am not complaining. A busy schedule just makes relaxing on my days off hard to do.
I'm really supposed to be working my tail off right now with the 30+ projects we have going on, but I woke up very unmotivated this morning. I am hungry and tired and all I can think about right now is Taco Bueno. I don't know why, but they must put drugs in their food or something because to me it is completely addictive. I could go there everyday and eat if it didn't make my ass as wide as the state of Texas.
Speaking of weight, I have put on a considerable amount of weight in the last 2 years and its really starting to bug me. I'm not one of these people that just bitches about it and does nothing - I used to work out everyday very vigorously. Lately I haven't had a lot of time to myself with my demanding son, my demanding job, chores and attempting to have a personal life. Now that things are settling I think its time to join a gym and get busy on getting back in shape. In 2 months I'll be back at my norm and then I'll find something else to work on. Of course, that likely means my blog will suffer once again. Er, maybe not.
Anyway, I'm glad I had this opportunity to at least get a couple of entries end before the months end and say that I haven't given up.
Take care!
Jelly
Ok, ok - I know no one really missed me, so I'm not going to expect a grand Welcome back, but it would be nice ;)
I have been so busy at my job, that I've actually had to work my full 8 hours a day and then some, which in turn took away from my "blog" time. I've had some interesting stories to share, but with all the knowledge I've been forced to retain at work, I've forgotten what I was going to say.
I'm expecting to get my income tax check tomorrow (yay for me!) so this weekend will be filling with an exciting shopping extravaganza! Not really - I am not a compulsive spender, buyer or gambler. I will hord that money until the next refund is due. I do have a list of items I need to get and a few things I WILL splurge on, but then the rest is on lockdown.
Soccer season has started again (futbol for those who prefer the correct term) and they are jam packing in the games this time around. This weekend alone there are three games scheduled - but they are so much fun I am not complaining. A busy schedule just makes relaxing on my days off hard to do.
I'm really supposed to be working my tail off right now with the 30+ projects we have going on, but I woke up very unmotivated this morning. I am hungry and tired and all I can think about right now is Taco Bueno. I don't know why, but they must put drugs in their food or something because to me it is completely addictive. I could go there everyday and eat if it didn't make my ass as wide as the state of Texas.
Speaking of weight, I have put on a considerable amount of weight in the last 2 years and its really starting to bug me. I'm not one of these people that just bitches about it and does nothing - I used to work out everyday very vigorously. Lately I haven't had a lot of time to myself with my demanding son, my demanding job, chores and attempting to have a personal life. Now that things are settling I think its time to join a gym and get busy on getting back in shape. In 2 months I'll be back at my norm and then I'll find something else to work on. Of course, that likely means my blog will suffer once again. Er, maybe not.
Anyway, I'm glad I had this opportunity to at least get a couple of entries end before the months end and say that I haven't given up.
Take care!
Jelly
Company Policies - posted in the breakroom
Dress Code:
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary; the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under The "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary; the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under The "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
10 February 2008
Energy Efficient or an Environmental Hazard?
Their called CFL’s, which stands for compact fluorescent lamps, and they are becoming all the rage. Government officials and retailers like Wal-Mart are all pushing the idea of replacing incandescent light bulbs with these energy saving and money saving compact fluorescent lamps. Most of the world today – fearing global warming – are getting ready to ban incandescent light bulbs.
08 February 2008
07 February 2008
Jeff Dunham and Achmed the suicide bomber
This video is sooooo funny! I hope no one get's offended, but if you do, oh well. That's too bad for you. Check out the video and let me know what you think.
04 February 2008
Business blogger is giving away $500!!!!
Doesn’t this sound exciting? Exciting enough to get me to blog about it, that’s for sure. Business Blogger is giving away $500 cash and a BFG NVIDIA graphics card just for blogging about this contest.
This contest will be going on the entire month of February, so even though this is the shortest month of the year, you still have plenty of time to submit your post and get yourself entered in for a chance to win an amazing prize! Who out there wouldn’t benefit from some FREE cash to buy something nice for yourself, or something extravagant for a loved one. Throw in a super cool video card – and make your blogging experience that much better. There will be two winners that will be selected randomly, one taking the cash and the other the video card.
Business blogger has some really great information for anyone that is trying to make some money online. There are tips for those that are new and even for the most serious entrepreneurs. Also, check out Business+Directory which is a great advertising center for your business.
There are 3 rules to qualify for the prizes:
1. Link to the contest page
2. link to Business+Directory
3. submit your original post of at least 250 words – must be unique so don’t do make a fool by copying someone else’s content
That’s it, very simple to do. Entries will be calculated after the contest ends and the prizes will be awarded sometime in March. Take care and good luck to you all!
This contest will be going on the entire month of February, so even though this is the shortest month of the year, you still have plenty of time to submit your post and get yourself entered in for a chance to win an amazing prize! Who out there wouldn’t benefit from some FREE cash to buy something nice for yourself, or something extravagant for a loved one. Throw in a super cool video card – and make your blogging experience that much better. There will be two winners that will be selected randomly, one taking the cash and the other the video card.
Business blogger has some really great information for anyone that is trying to make some money online. There are tips for those that are new and even for the most serious entrepreneurs. Also, check out Business+Directory which is a great advertising center for your business.
There are 3 rules to qualify for the prizes:
1. Link to the contest page
2. link to Business+Directory
3. submit your original post of at least 250 words – must be unique so don’t do make a fool by copying someone else’s content
That’s it, very simple to do. Entries will be calculated after the contest ends and the prizes will be awarded sometime in March. Take care and good luck to you all!
Fallen victim to the eyebrow bandit
Many women (and men) pluck their eyebrows or have them waxed or threaded to define the shape and keep them tame. Eyebrow plucking is done in an attempt to achieve beautiful eyebrows. One problem with eyebrow shaping is overplucking, but for the “cholas”, mostly found on the west coast, it’s overarching.
01 February 2008
What is Victoria's Secret?
After years of suspense...
The question of the day is "What is Victoria's Secret?
The answer is ...
The question of the day is "What is Victoria's Secret?
The answer is ...
FBI Job opening
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...Kill Her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. Then man came out with tears in his yes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
LESSON LEARNED:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with us!
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...Kill Her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. Then man came out with tears in his yes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
LESSON LEARNED:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with us!
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