Here's another attempt

Here is a poem that I wrote sometime around June 2000. I had a lot going on around that time as my writing will reflect. After you read it, let me know what you think.

My Vice

You linger around
I smell your sweet scent
I'm feeling spellbound
that was the intent

it's because of you
that I can't cope with this place
you are my vice
you are my disgrace

first thing in the morning
in the middle of the day
late in the afternoon
I'm feeling ok

I can put it down
but I don't want to quit
'cause then I'd be sober
and right now I can't handle it

you're somewhat of an addiction
I can let you go
but you follow me around
like my own damn shadow

its a hard habit to break
when you make me feel so good
and I don't want to quit it
even though I should

I struggled with many issues in my early adult years...drugs, money problems, marital problem, sexual problems, emotional distress - and I survived. There were many days that I wished the world would end and I prayed for Armageddon. There are still days that I want to give up, or worse even, give in to my cravings for some of those things in my past that I thought were comforting. I have enough common sense to know that they were not helping, only numbing me for a short while. Then when you get back to reality, everything that you try to get away from is there, staring you in the face, waiting for you to figure out how to deal with it.

This message is to anyone right now that is struggling with any or all of the above issues - hold your head up and believe in yourself and you will get thru this. No one in this world can help you unless you are willing to help yourself. The grass is greener on the other side. Get help, get better and put this all behind you.