Domestic violence is no joke

...but if you marry a woman twice as big as you, and then have the nerve to pick a fight with her...well, you get what you deserve!

Watch the video to see this fool get beat down. It's assumed that this is his wife, and possibly his kids watching the spectacle. This is enough to shame any man!

Moral of the story

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand but, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129? "The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. "Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Ashop Commerce review

If you are currently running an online store, or are thinking about starting one up, then I have some information about a service that may be beneficial to you.

Ashop Commerce provides shopping cart software so you can easily create your own online store. This is an affordable, ecommerce software that is web based, which to you means that there is no software to install. There are hundreds of features and it’s easy to use. All the shopping carts are hosted on ultra fast web servers and they provide 24x7 monitoring and free technical support.

Right now, Ashop Commerce is offering a 10 day free trial with no credit card required. When you go to the Ashop Commerce website, you can take a test drive of the demo store, review all the software features and check out the smart packages and find the right pricing plan for your business needs. There are no hidden fees and no contracts to sign. Should you decide to sign up for a package that does include a contract, there is a free of charge custom online store design offer which gives you graphically designed headers and footers.

If you want to give your online store a boost in the market and make your visitors more likely to trust your site, then you should consider Ashop Commerce which offers a secure checkout, free technical support, 99.8% guaranteed up time, 128 bit SSL security, email and ongoing upgrades.

There are many more features and benefits that I did not mention. There is a section to read over their FAQ’s and submit questions to their customer support if you have any further inquiries. Don’t just take my word for it, check out Ashop Commerce and see what they are all about.

Some humor for Monday!

Clarity!

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's
finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:







Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done; a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man has only 2 balls and they take up ALL his thoughts.

Extra income opportunity coming my way!

It took me three months to build up my blog to get approved by PayPerPost, but I have high hopes that it will be well worth it. PayPerPost uses word of mouth ethics to sign up advertisers who want bloggers to write about their product, service or company and then pay bloggers to do that.

One thing that I find interesting about PayPerPost is that advertisers are willing to pay you to post on topics. Once your content is approved, you get paid. Sounds like a great deal! I hope to be able to take my son out to do fun things with the earning I receive. Kids are expensive – and they want some very sophisticated toys. I’ve heard a lot of great things about this popular site and if you’re already writing and using the products they ask you to review, why not get paid for it. I hope some of my regular visitors will take this opportunity to either review my posts or maybe even join to start earning some money from blogging!

I came across PayPerPost from one of the other blogs that I regularly check out myself, and it seemed like it would be fun and interesting – but obviously the best part would be to make money while doing something I enjoy.

Have you prepared a last will and testament?

No one wants to think about their own death, but it’s the only thing in life that is guaranteed. Being prepared is not just for your sake, but for the sake of your family. If you have children, wouldn’t you be devastated if you were their only guardian and they were warded property of the state because of the lack of preparation. A will could be the most important legal document you ever sign.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Do you game with your kids?

Some parents think playing video game with kids is a waste of time, but others see it as an opportunity to bond and build up a common interest. In today’s society, it’s hard to avoid the video games with all the hype of the Wii, PlayStation and Xbox. Buying the right type of video games and learning lessons during this time can be entertaining for the whole family.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Colonoscopy Humor

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

Even though the others do all the work... The asshole is usually in charge!

Pro360.com – online casino reviews

Have you ever visited an online casino? If you have, then you know how time consuming it can be to filter through an estimated 3000 online casinos. If you have not ever visited an online casino, but have wanted to – then this is a great place to start.

Pro360.com offers online casino reviews that are designed to help you should you choose to gamble online. Pro360 provides detailed reviews about the gaming experience, trust scores and bonuses offered by each casino. As soon as you check out Pro360, there is a list of the top 20 reviewed casinos, and I have to say, it looks very tempting! You will see the rank order, the casino name and the link to access that site.

Right away you can view if US players are allowed, the max bonus, their certificates, editor ratings, player ratings and even see a full review. At the very top of the page, you can select the game of your choice and see game reviews within all of the 75 casinos. This is really exciting to me because, even though I am not a big gambler, I can check out my options and pick and choose between the ones that I think would work out best for me for the games I like to play. Now that I have been made aware of this particular site, I might consider playing and winning thru online casinos!

"The Bitch"

A poem I wrote back in 2000 when I worked technical support/customer service...

The Bitch

Why won't these people
leave me alone
all day long
I'm answering the phone

"thank you for calling,
how can I help you?"
fixing their problems
showing them how-to

I've run out of patience
I'm losing my nerve
and everyone around me
is beginning to observe

my disgruntled behavior
that "tone" in my voice
I wish I didn't have to work
but I don't have that choice

so I guess until the day
no - even if I were to get rich
one thing is for damn sure
I will always be a bitch

What's all the fuss about Smorty?

I recently signed up with a service where you can get paid for blogging. If you have not heard of Smorty yet, let me tell you a little about this site. Smorty is a service connecting advertisers with bloggers who like to blog for money. I know I don’t mind making a few extra dollars here and there for blog advertising. So far, it has been very easy to signup and there are several opportunities available as soon as your blog is approved. There are a few rules that are very simple to follow.

First, there is a minimum requirement of 150 words and a maximum of 400 for blog entry approval. For some of us, that should be no problem - because if you get as excited as I do about making money, then you won’t have any issues coming up with the minimum.

Second, all posts must be written using correct grammar, so be sure that spell check is on. My suggestion is to type up your post in Word first, then paste it after you have checked your word count and spelling.

Next, your blog post must remain online and be permanent. Also, your blog must appear either as one of the recent blog entries on your home page, or be a clear link accessible from your home page.

These are very simple rules to follow, so why not give it a whirl and try out Smorty.

Look at the size of these JUGS!!!!

I did notice that one jug is slightly larger than the other, but hey, milk is milk, right?

*~Click here to see the pic~*

The Science of Gaydar

A very controversial subject was brought up on the Tyra Banks show last night that caught my attention – this was a re-run so some of you may have seen it before. The subject was about whether people can pinpoint and determine if a person is gay or not by specific characteristics and personal traits. It is by no means an exact science, but it was rather interesting to watch and see the research presenter on the show correctly identify 6 out the 6 guests that volunteered to test his theory.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Controversy over 'The Golden Compass'

There has been some criticism by the Catholic church that "The Golden Compass" is anti-religious. This movie, which is directed by Chris Weitz, is based on the first book of a trilogy by Philip Pullman. It has been said that Pullman was an "avowed atheist and has said in interviews that his books are about killing God''.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Pluto is no longer a planet

Officially, Pluto is no longer a planet. Scientists have deemed it a "dwarf planet", which by definition is any object that "has not cleared the neighborhood around its orbit, and is not a satellite." A new definition of a "planet" has finally been approved, and this took Pluto out of the full fledged planet listing.

*~Read All About It Here~*

10 Reasons Why We Should Have Sex..revised

Chemistry is what brings together science and sex. Researchers say attraction is more than meets the eye. It has also been said that mating is critical to our survival. Therefore, an investigation of science of love and mating came about. I have compiled a list of only 10 reasons why we SHOULD have sex.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Global Incident Map...revised

When you click on the website link, a world map comes up showing what strange and dangerous things are happening right now in every country in the entire world and is updated every few minutes. You can move the map around, zero in on any one area and actually up-load the story of what is going on.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Being left handed in a right handed world

Statistics show left-handed people are more likely to be schizophrenic, alcoholic, delinquent, dyslexic, and have Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, as well as mental disabilities. With this being said, it's not easy being a lefty, but this does not indicate that being left handed is a disability. Left-handers and ambidextrals routinely encounter difficulties in their daily lives that most right-handers do not fully appreciate. Most of these difficulties are trivial, annoying, and frustrating.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Motorcycle deaths on the rise!

Among all riders, motorcycle operators in the 20-29 age group had the largest percentage of fatal crashes even though this age group is purchasing fewer motorcycles than previous years. Speeding is one of the major contributors to fatalities in this age group. Is it inexperience, youthful exuberance and the need for speed, lack of proper training or a combination of the three that is causing the discrepancy?

*~Read All About It Here~*

Is the blogging craze coming to an end?

Research experts predicted in 2007 that the blogging craze will come to an end soon. Apparently, blogging has reached its peak and many are likely to become bored with it. There are some of us who love to blog, and will continue to blog 'til our hearts content, but there are others that will move on to other trends.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10:
Life is sexually transmitted.


Number 9:
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 8:
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Number 7:
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.


Number 6:
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.


Number 5:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


Number 4:
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.


Number 3:
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


Number 2:
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?

Have you ever contemplated suicide?

I used to think about it - I've always been depressed as long as I can remember, just always been in different stages of it. I contemplated suicide a few times as I recall, but never did anything but think about it. I never attempted to hurt myself - it just seemed to sound like a good solution at the time. There was a point in my life when I wished for Armageddon to come and take us all out - that way I didn't have to consider suicide and not hurt my family and friends. That way, I wouldn't sin and go to hell (that is the Catholic belief; suicide is a sin, and if you committ suicide you are instantly banished to hell).

Lately, my depression has taken on a new form. I have no longer been sad, crying my eyes out until I had no tears left. I do not distance myself from coworkers, friends and family. I do not seek to fill a void with drugs and partying. I no longer wish for death to ease my pain, in fact, I do not wish to die for a long time. I have a son that needs his mother. I have a son that cannot depend on his father. I have family that enjoys my company and loves me.

My depression has turned into anger. I yell, I cuss, my blood pressure goes up and I can't see straight. I want to hurt someone - but I have enough commonsense to know that's not going to resolve any of my problems. I get mad, I yell, I hurt those around me and then I feel bad. I feel regret; maybe for what I said or because I could not control my outburst. Whatever the reason, I know I am wrong and I need help.

My dr. says I need to see a therapist. I have disregarded his advice for over a year now. I was on medication for anxiety for a while in 2006, and it did help. It helped so much that in 2007 I decided I was feeling better and I stopped taking the medicine. Then after about 3 months, I began to show symptoms again. It took me two more months before I made the decision to get back on the meds. I did not have the same results the 2nd time around. The medicine caused my already high blood pressure to elevate even more, which in turn resulted in migraines. I was taking 6 to 8 tylenols a day just to be able to function. I had to ween myself back off the meds and figure out a way to cope without these pills. I started taking a birth control pill which stated that it helped with symptoms of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) which is partly what I am suffering from...but I have not seen much improvement.

So, here I am today, trying to decide what I will do in 2008. I will:

1. go see a new dr. (female dr. familiar with pmdd symptoms)
2. possibly begin taking the medication again that seemed to help a while back
3. go see a therapist (physchotherapist, headshrink, psychologist... is there a difference?)
4. go CRAZY!!!! - if I don't do something soon.

Deep down inside, I'm a very loving, caring person...just learned some hard lessons in life very early on and been through some rough patches for a while now. Everybody's got issues, right?

Meme... its all about Me,Me!

Meme, tagging, generating more traffic - it's all good. I like the attention it brings to my blog. Some might say I'm an attention wh@re... ha ha ha, well you get the point.

I have been tagged by my dear friend Melissa who is the author of Here I am. Check her out and see what's she's about!

She likes the attention too!

So, for this tag, there are 5 rules...

1. Must be clean - no R rated sites
2. Only 5 links
3. Must tell 5 people
4. A link back to the person who tagged you
5. Lara's Place is the meme originator (an active link is appreciated)

Here are my five links:

Internet Bumper Stickers - I am a big fan of icons and these great bumper stickers, because pictures are worth a thousand words

Box.net - Access and share your files online, work on files from anywhere, protect important files and collaborate and share online. I signed up a while back for 5GB of space for only $2.99 a month. Now, that's a deal! I love my box.

Myxer Tones - The most stuff for your phone...ringtones, wallpapers, videos and more.

Zazzle - Infinite one-of-a-kind-ness; create your own custom anything

Restaurant.com - Find deals on neighborhood restaurants. I bought 2-$25 gift certificates for $10 each.

Here are the five blogs that I am tagging...

Truth to Power: Dissent into Gladness : I received a good review from Merlyn, and I truly like those that aren't afraid to say what's on their mind.

Jokes for all Seasons Blog : funny stuff here!

Ur Resident Chef : this lady shares her great cooking tips in this blog, and seems to be very busy with three other blogs while still actively looking for blogs to read.

Poetry Through the Years : so many poems for such a young person. An inspiration to all poets that just want to express themselves more than anything.

...On the Wall : this guy has a true passion for writing.

Let's start this year off right

My last blog was a very sad and personal note, so I hope to start this year off right with a few laughs.

My blogs will have its ups and downs, as does my life, but I hope you find some enjoyment in it all. Whether it be having a good laugh (on me) with the funny stuff, or thanking the Lord above that shit happens - but mostly to me, so you need not worry so much. Just when you think you're having a bad day, check out my blog for a pick me up!

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year!




HER FIRST ROLLER COASTER RIDE

DON'T MISS THE GUY IN THE BACKGROUND TO THE LEFT!

THE QUESTION IS...WAS CHRIS FARLEY EVER A SPERM DONOR?

LET'S JUST HOPE THEIR WIVES DON'T LIKE TO WATCH HOCKEY ON TV.

SOMETHING TELLS ME HE WON'T GROW UP TO BECOME A VET.

SO I CAN'T CHEW ON MYSELF, HUH? FINE.

DOH!

SOME FUN AT WORK.

SOMETIMES THE VIEW FROM BEHIND HOME PLATE ISN'T SO GREAT AFTER ALL.

HIS LAST DAY AT WORK.






LOOKS LIKE THE FAMILY CAT IS GOING OVERBOARD!





SOMEONE MUST REALLY LOVE HIS NEW STEP-MOM.




I'M SURE THIS WENT OVER WELL WITH THE OLD LADY.




NOW THAT'S CLASSY.




OUCH!




AFTER SEEING THIS I BET YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET TO WEAR SUN-SCREEN AGAIN.




AFTER 5 YEARS OF HEATED DEBATE, THE COMMISSION OF HUMAN
RIGHTS APPROVED THE NEW INTERNATIONAL SYMBOL OF MARRIAGE.