09 January 2008

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10:
Life is sexually transmitted.


Number 9:
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 8:
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Number 7:
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.


Number 6:
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.


Number 5:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


Number 4:
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.


Number 3:
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


Number 2:
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Thank you for that. #5 is a classic!!!