Some days are better than other, today's not so great

Last night we had a long talk about why my bf is moving out. He has told me a few of the reasons, but ALL of the real reasons came out last night. So, now I'm feeling like crap again, because once again it was something I did that finalized his decision. It's always me, I'm used to it by now, but why does this keep happening? I know I can't change everything about me, but my past keeps coming back to haunt me everytime I think I've made a significant change in my life.

I'm not going to continue to put all the blame on me anymore. If this is how he wants to live his life, then so be it. I'll be here for him as long as I can handle it. I won't have my life revolve around his family just because his does. Family is great, and I don't mind his family at all, but there is so much family that I get put on the backburner when we're at family gatherings. I'm left to fend for myself while he's socializing and it's not something I'm used to. My ex didn't talk to most of his family, and my family kept their distance because of my ex. It's a vicious cycle of family issues.

So, today I made a decision to get rid of my cat. There are several reason why I'm doing it, but inside it hurts me because my son will miss her the most. My bf never liked cats, he said he was allergic to them, but I got one anyway. Turns out, he has not had any allergic reactions to her. That worked out for a while, but now's he's using her as one of the many reasons why he resents me. He had to get rid of his pets to move in with me, and then I got the cat when he didn't agree to it. He pushed and pushed so much for me to let him move in, and he had to let his huge boxer go because I live in an apartment and that size dog just wouldn't work out in an apartment.

Now I'm moving again and the pet deposit is $400... that is just ludicrous and I can't justify paying that much for a crazy cat that I've had less than a year that attacks, scratches and bites my son. He provokes it most of the time, but never the less - I made the decision she has to go. I'll probably get him a hampster - if I don't have to pay a damn pet deposit.

Another reason he's leaving he says is because I pissed of members of his family, specifically his brother that he is closest with. So, to make things right for myself, I am going to call his brother and apologize to him for disrespecting him or his family. I know it won't change anything now, but it will make me feel better and possibly change their perception of me - because I don't think I'm a bad person. People make mistakes and say things that are out of line from time to time. I just want him to know that I can be the bigger person and accept that I made a mistake and apologize for doing so.

My son never really let my bf get close because he still thinks his daddy is great - and that's probably because I've never bad mouthed his father to him. He needs to make his own opinion of his dad, and I'm sure very soon he will be just as disappointed as I have been. My bf seems to think that his son and I did not get close enough either, but there's a certain line that cannot be crossed. I cannot act like his mother, he already has one. I cannot do more than be a friend to him and show him I care about him and his father. I take care of him when my bf is at work, I take the boys swimming and out to eat. He goes to my sons soccer games and I've been to his sporting events. What else am I supposed to do? I guess an occasional hug and loving gesture, but he was never really happy to be here with us. He is also mad at me because my ex does not pay his child support like he should. As if I have control over that situation!!!! I have a court order saying he has to pay, but he's not responsible and it takes time to get that all worked out and so now I'm suffering in more than one way not getting child support. How unfair is that?!

I wish that I could just snap my fingers or close my eyes and make it all go way... the hurt, the fear, the resentment, the things I did wrong in his eyes, the things that he says I can't fix. If it can't be fixed, then why does he still want to continue to see me and spend time with me? I honestly think that there is hope for us, maybe not right now, maybe it will take some time to sort it all out but he's not given up on me yet.

Still hopeful...

Another week has passed... and I'm doing better. I'm back to work and keeping busy. Today I took my bf to the airport. Today he starts his vacation, and he's going to Chicago with a friend to go see a baseball game and hang out. Must be nice to have friends that want to hang out with you. I'm not hating on him, just a little jealous. He's jealous of me, I'm jealous of him... nothing makes sense anymore.

My vacation was spent cleaning, packing and crying. He's out having fun with a friend out of town. I'm not mad that he's out enjoying himself on his vacation, just that we didn't get to have the vacation we had planned. Most likely my fault because of the way things were going between us a few months ago.

I still have hope that this will all work out. I keep getting these emails that tell me that God is watching over me and that my life is the way it's supposed to be and I'm where I am for a reason. I'm trying my best to focus on the positive aspects of what's going on. He's a good man, he does love me, he's doing this for his son becasue he is a caring father. I was very selfish last year and kept putting my needs first, and so what goes around comes around. He needs to put his needs first now, and I have to be understanding. That's what people in love do.

This past month since he told me he was moving out, we have been closer than ever. I have cried more than I have in the past year, but it was expected. He's been really good to me, I've been really good to him and we're talking about how much we'll miss each other when we're not together. We are committed to each other and he's talking like everything will be just the same except he won't be with me every night.

My son will start in a new school this year, as I did when I was in first grade. He's young and resilient and will have no problem making new friends. He'll still be playing soccer with the same team - at least for this next season. He also mentioned an interest in baseball so that's more to keep us busy. If only I could get my ex to pay as much attention to our son as my bf does for his son, things would be better for all of us. I'm still waiting on the child support payments - thank God I don't depend on them.

I think I'm finally free of all the depression, just a little stressed to say the least. I'm doing the best that I can, and I think I've done all the right things to let my bf know that I am his soulmate and we are meant to be together. As much as I want things to go his way, I also want him to miss me so much that he'll be open to moving back together with me in the near future and we can compromise on how we want to live out our lives together.

falling apart

I've been crying a lot lately. I'm stressed because I am having to move, then my bf told me he is not moving with me. He's moving back to F.W. because its closer to his son and his family. He needs to be there for his son to help him with his school work and get him back on track.

I'm sad because I will be alone, and I don't have any friends that like to spend time with me, and I have to force myself on my family because they are just as secluded as I am. We live our own lives, and this is one of the downfalls of being independent and having a small family.

I'm crying now, because this all makes me so sad. I feel pathetic because I don't like to be alone, I CAN'T be alone - but I'm not alone. I have a wonderful 6 yr. old son but his company alone is not enough for me. He wants me to be his friend and I need some adult companionship.

My bf has been really great helping me get ready for the move and he'll help me get moved into my new place, but everytime I think about him not being here it breaks my heart. He'll never read this but he knows how much I'm going to miss him. I miss him already and he hasn't even left yet.

I'm sure I'll get thru this, I just got thru a divorce that lasted over a year. I got thru the last breakup, I got thru the depression and the anger and the hurt. Why does everyone always leave me? My son loves me unconditionally - him and my mother are about the only ones. My sister loves me but she doesn't understand how much more I need from her but I don't ask because I know she's dealing with her own problems.

I hope to be able to win his love back again. All his actions show me he loves me, and I hope he's not just being nice to get thru the next couple of weeks until he's out in his own place. He's such a great man - and I screwed something up. He told me his reasons for needing to do this but as much sense as it makes - I still think I did something wrong and pushed him away.

Everytime I get a text I hope its from him... sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. I know he's busy at work and so I don't expect him to be available to me every minute of everyday. But when I do get a text I'm happy that he's thinking of me.

Why It Is Important to Understand English

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.

Short line...Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?'

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations.'

The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too!'

I will wear blue... will you?

Blue Fridays.

Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing blue every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing. Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -- and continues each and
every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that ... every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something blue. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of blue much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in BLUE and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on. The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is ...'We need your support and your prayers.' Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear
something blue every Friday.

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE
IF YOU ARE NOT BEHIND OUR TROOPS THEN STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.

Where to buy American gasoline

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. READ ON.

Gas rationing in the 70's worked even though we grumbled about it. It might even have been good for us!

Are you aware that the Saudis are boycotting American products?

Shouldn't we return the favor? Can't we take control of our own destiny and let these giant oil importers know who REALLY generates their profits, their livings? How about leaving American Dollars in America and reduce the import/export deficit?

An appealing remedy might be to boycott their GAS. Every time you fill up your car you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just purchase gas from companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.

Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill up my tank, I'm sending my money to people who I get the impression want me, my family and my friends dead. Don't you think it might be of interest to know which oil companies import Middle Eastern oil and which do not?

These companies import Middle Eastern oil:

Shell................................... 205,742,000 barrels
Chevron/Texaco.................. 144,332,000 barrels
Exxon /Mobil....................... 130,082,000 barrels
Marathon/Speedway............ 117,740,000 barrels
Amoco................................ 62,231,000 barrels

And CITGO oil is imported from Venezuela by Dictator Hugo Chavez who hates America and openly avows our economic destruction! (We pay Chavez's regime nearly $10 Billion per year in oil revenues!)

The U.S. currently imports 5,517,000 barrels of crude oil per day from OPEC. If you do the math at $95 per barrel (now it's over $100) that's over $524 million PER DAY ($191 BILLION per year!) handed over to OPEC, many of whose members are our confirmed enemies!!!!!

Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Sunoco....................... 0 barrels
Conoco....................... 0 barrels
Sinclair....................... 0 barrels
BP / Phillips................ 0 barrels
Hess. ........................ 0 barrels
ARC0......................... 0 barrels
Maverick.................... 0 barrels
Flying J. .................... 0 barrels
Valero........................ 0 barrels
All of this information is available from the U.S. Department of Energy and each company is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.

But to have a real impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. With the help of the internet, it's really simple to do. Now, don't wimp out at this point....keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at only ten more (30 x 10 = 300)....and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)....and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers!!!!!!!

If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it....THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE--the entire population of the United States of America!!!!

Aunt Mildred

Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast'.


Later that night........ Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Let's get out of our own way, shall we?

One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big notice on the door which
read:

"Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the gym".

In the beginning, they all were sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.

The excitement in the gym was such that security was ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.

Everyone thought:
"Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!" One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.

There was a mirror inside the coffin:
everyone who looked inside it could see himself.There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:

"There is only one person who is capable
to set limits to your growth: it is YOU."

The Lesson...You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life. "The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself"

Living in Texas!

May 30th

Just moved to Houston. Now this is a city that knows how to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a park lying outside on a balmy night. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.


June 14th

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home with a pool, drive an air-conditioned car; what a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.

I'm turning into a sun worshipper.


June 30th

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.


July 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.


July 15th

Fell asleep at the pool (got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.


July 20th

I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.


July 25th

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.


July 30th

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?


Aug 4th

Feels like it's 125 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid city.


Aug 8th

If another wiseass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!


Aug 9th

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.


Aug 10th

The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do ANYTHING for 2 damn months and the wise ass weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.


Aug. 14th

Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to a 115 today. I forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"

My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Freaking Texas!

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

Dogs vs. Cats

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.


Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs .

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
Guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe.

For now....

Politicians and their many scandals

Doesn’t it seem odd how often we hear about all the scandals that go down in politics? Money laundering, sex scandals, cover-ups of bribery, and abuse of public trust are just a few of categories to mention. It seems like the only time I really know the details of a person’s political background is when the dirt comes out about their alleged wrong doings and its displayed all over the news and internet stories.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Strange dreams

I've been having some very vivid dreams lately.

Early this morning I was dreaming that it was hailing outside and I was bitching about my car getting damage and M and I were looking out the window at the hailstorm. I felt air coming in from behind me and I noticed one of the windows in another area of the house was damaged. Likely from the hail, as it looked like a baseball was thrown thru the glass, and there were several other holes in the glass... so my main concern was to get it fixed - and M was running around looking for duct tape. Yes, a man's 2nd best friend is duct tape. So, as he was looking for the tape, I noticed another window was wide open and then that stuck out as very strange because I know I would not have opened a window in the midst of a storm. As I started to approach the window, I felt this eerie feeling that someone was in the house. I headed towards the kitchen where I knew I could find a weapon, and there on the counter was a very large cutting knife. As I was reaching for it someone grabbed me and I was trying to yell as loud as I could for M, while trying to stab the arm of my assailant. I could see the arm and the knife going in, but I could not scream. All I could hear was moaning - and that sound you make in your dreams when you're trying to scream and can't. My alarm went off not to long after the attack, and I don't remember if I was actually hurt or not... but M thought I was having a REALLY good time in my dream.

Apparently he was watching me while I was having this bad dream because he thought I was going to say something that he could understand. He figured I was going to say a name or say something sexual because he thought I was having sex and moaning in my dream.

It wasn't really funny to me, but it was after I told him what I was dreaming about because of what he thought was going on. All day today I've had the lyrics by The Romantics running through my head - "I hear the secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep".

I've read that dreams tell a lot about situations or circumstances that are actually going on in your life. Dream theorists have said falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. My dream could be interpreted as being chased or being attacked...and chase dreams may represent a way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault.

I'm not really sure why I'm having these dreams about being chased or not being able to scream as if I feel my life is out of control - but I don't really feel stressed or scared of anything that I can think of at the moment. Things are settling down for me, I'm more in control of my life than I have been in years. I've always had really strange dreams. Maybe if I talk about them more I can figure out why they keep happening. They are never the same though, so it's not a reoccurring dream - but its usually about me getting hurt or someone else. Kinda morbid, I know... I've always been this way.

Work Buzzwords

Work BuzzWords of ‘07


Blamestorming:
A group discussion about why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

Salmon Day:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.

Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up to see what's going on.

Mouse Potato:
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

Swipeout:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

TIREDs:
Thirty-something Independent Radical Educated Dropouts. Anyone over thirty taking a gap year and calling it a 'career break'.

Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for taking free copies from one's workplace photocopier.

Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of hitting an electronic device to get it to work again.

Adminisphere:
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often completely inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found,' meaning that the requested document could not be located.

Generica:
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

Ohnosecond:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFs:
Well-Off Older Folks.

Crop Dusting:
Surreptitiously passing wind while walking through a cube farm.

I've been MIA for a while...

but, I'm baaaack!

Ok, ok - I know no one really missed me, so I'm not going to expect a grand Welcome back, but it would be nice ;)

I have been so busy at my job, that I've actually had to work my full 8 hours a day and then some, which in turn took away from my "blog" time. I've had some interesting stories to share, but with all the knowledge I've been forced to retain at work, I've forgotten what I was going to say.

I'm expecting to get my income tax check tomorrow (yay for me!) so this weekend will be filling with an exciting shopping extravaganza! Not really - I am not a compulsive spender, buyer or gambler. I will hord that money until the next refund is due. I do have a list of items I need to get and a few things I WILL splurge on, but then the rest is on lockdown.

Soccer season has started again (futbol for those who prefer the correct term) and they are jam packing in the games this time around. This weekend alone there are three games scheduled - but they are so much fun I am not complaining. A busy schedule just makes relaxing on my days off hard to do.

I'm really supposed to be working my tail off right now with the 30+ projects we have going on, but I woke up very unmotivated this morning. I am hungry and tired and all I can think about right now is Taco Bueno. I don't know why, but they must put drugs in their food or something because to me it is completely addictive. I could go there everyday and eat if it didn't make my ass as wide as the state of Texas.

Speaking of weight, I have put on a considerable amount of weight in the last 2 years and its really starting to bug me. I'm not one of these people that just bitches about it and does nothing - I used to work out everyday very vigorously. Lately I haven't had a lot of time to myself with my demanding son, my demanding job, chores and attempting to have a personal life. Now that things are settling I think its time to join a gym and get busy on getting back in shape. In 2 months I'll be back at my norm and then I'll find something else to work on. Of course, that likely means my blog will suffer once again. Er, maybe not.

Anyway, I'm glad I had this opportunity to at least get a couple of entries end before the months end and say that I haven't given up.

Take care!

Jelly

Company Policies - posted in the breakroom

Dress Code:
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary; the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under The "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.




Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

Energy Efficient or an Environmental Hazard?

Their called CFL’s, which stands for compact fluorescent lamps, and they are becoming all the rage. Government officials and retailers like Wal-Mart are all pushing the idea of replacing incandescent light bulbs with these energy saving and money saving compact fluorescent lamps. Most of the world today – fearing global warming – are getting ready to ban incandescent light bulbs.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Valentine Cards you DON'T want to receive...

Jeff Dunham and Achmed the suicide bomber

This video is sooooo funny! I hope no one get's offended, but if you do, oh well. That's too bad for you. Check out the video and let me know what you think.

Business blogger is giving away $500!!!!

Doesn’t this sound exciting? Exciting enough to get me to blog about it, that’s for sure. Business Blogger is giving away $500 cash and a BFG NVIDIA graphics card just for blogging about this contest.

This contest will be going on the entire month of February, so even though this is the shortest month of the year, you still have plenty of time to submit your post and get yourself entered in for a chance to win an amazing prize! Who out there wouldn’t benefit from some FREE cash to buy something nice for yourself, or something extravagant for a loved one. Throw in a super cool video card – and make your blogging experience that much better. There will be two winners that will be selected randomly, one taking the cash and the other the video card.

Business blogger has some really great information for anyone that is trying to make some money online. There are tips for those that are new and even for the most serious entrepreneurs. Also, check out Business+Directory which is a great advertising center for your business.

There are 3 rules to qualify for the prizes:

1. Link to the contest page
2. link to Business+Directory
3. submit your original post of at least 250 words – must be unique so don’t do make a fool by copying someone else’s content

That’s it, very simple to do. Entries will be calculated after the contest ends and the prizes will be awarded sometime in March. Take care and good luck to you all!

Fallen victim to the eyebrow bandit

Many women (and men) pluck their eyebrows or have them waxed or threaded to define the shape and keep them tame. Eyebrow plucking is done in an attempt to achieve beautiful eyebrows. One problem with eyebrow shaping is overplucking, but for the “cholas”, mostly found on the west coast, it’s overarching.

*~Read All About It Here~*

What is Victoria's Secret?

After years of suspense...

The question of the day is "What is Victoria's Secret?

The answer is ...

FBI Job opening

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...Kill Her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. Then man came out with tears in his yes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

LESSON LEARNED:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with us!

Domestic violence is no joke

...but if you marry a woman twice as big as you, and then have the nerve to pick a fight with her...well, you get what you deserve!

Watch the video to see this fool get beat down. It's assumed that this is his wife, and possibly his kids watching the spectacle. This is enough to shame any man!

Moral of the story

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand but, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129? "The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. "Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Ashop Commerce review

If you are currently running an online store, or are thinking about starting one up, then I have some information about a service that may be beneficial to you.

Ashop Commerce provides shopping cart software so you can easily create your own online store. This is an affordable, ecommerce software that is web based, which to you means that there is no software to install. There are hundreds of features and it’s easy to use. All the shopping carts are hosted on ultra fast web servers and they provide 24x7 monitoring and free technical support.

Right now, Ashop Commerce is offering a 10 day free trial with no credit card required. When you go to the Ashop Commerce website, you can take a test drive of the demo store, review all the software features and check out the smart packages and find the right pricing plan for your business needs. There are no hidden fees and no contracts to sign. Should you decide to sign up for a package that does include a contract, there is a free of charge custom online store design offer which gives you graphically designed headers and footers.

If you want to give your online store a boost in the market and make your visitors more likely to trust your site, then you should consider Ashop Commerce which offers a secure checkout, free technical support, 99.8% guaranteed up time, 128 bit SSL security, email and ongoing upgrades.

There are many more features and benefits that I did not mention. There is a section to read over their FAQ’s and submit questions to their customer support if you have any further inquiries. Don’t just take my word for it, check out Ashop Commerce and see what they are all about.

Some humor for Monday!

Clarity!

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's
finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:







Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done; a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man has only 2 balls and they take up ALL his thoughts.

Extra income opportunity coming my way!

It took me three months to build up my blog to get approved by PayPerPost, but I have high hopes that it will be well worth it. PayPerPost uses word of mouth ethics to sign up advertisers who want bloggers to write about their product, service or company and then pay bloggers to do that.

One thing that I find interesting about PayPerPost is that advertisers are willing to pay you to post on topics. Once your content is approved, you get paid. Sounds like a great deal! I hope to be able to take my son out to do fun things with the earning I receive. Kids are expensive – and they want some very sophisticated toys. I’ve heard a lot of great things about this popular site and if you’re already writing and using the products they ask you to review, why not get paid for it. I hope some of my regular visitors will take this opportunity to either review my posts or maybe even join to start earning some money from blogging!

I came across PayPerPost from one of the other blogs that I regularly check out myself, and it seemed like it would be fun and interesting – but obviously the best part would be to make money while doing something I enjoy.

Have you prepared a last will and testament?

No one wants to think about their own death, but it’s the only thing in life that is guaranteed. Being prepared is not just for your sake, but for the sake of your family. If you have children, wouldn’t you be devastated if you were their only guardian and they were warded property of the state because of the lack of preparation. A will could be the most important legal document you ever sign.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Do you game with your kids?

Some parents think playing video game with kids is a waste of time, but others see it as an opportunity to bond and build up a common interest. In today’s society, it’s hard to avoid the video games with all the hype of the Wii, PlayStation and Xbox. Buying the right type of video games and learning lessons during this time can be entertaining for the whole family.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Colonoscopy Humor

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

Even though the others do all the work... The asshole is usually in charge!

Pro360.com – online casino reviews

Have you ever visited an online casino? If you have, then you know how time consuming it can be to filter through an estimated 3000 online casinos. If you have not ever visited an online casino, but have wanted to – then this is a great place to start.

Pro360.com offers online casino reviews that are designed to help you should you choose to gamble online. Pro360 provides detailed reviews about the gaming experience, trust scores and bonuses offered by each casino. As soon as you check out Pro360, there is a list of the top 20 reviewed casinos, and I have to say, it looks very tempting! You will see the rank order, the casino name and the link to access that site.

Right away you can view if US players are allowed, the max bonus, their certificates, editor ratings, player ratings and even see a full review. At the very top of the page, you can select the game of your choice and see game reviews within all of the 75 casinos. This is really exciting to me because, even though I am not a big gambler, I can check out my options and pick and choose between the ones that I think would work out best for me for the games I like to play. Now that I have been made aware of this particular site, I might consider playing and winning thru online casinos!

"The Bitch"

A poem I wrote back in 2000 when I worked technical support/customer service...

The Bitch

Why won't these people
leave me alone
all day long
I'm answering the phone

"thank you for calling,
how can I help you?"
fixing their problems
showing them how-to

I've run out of patience
I'm losing my nerve
and everyone around me
is beginning to observe

my disgruntled behavior
that "tone" in my voice
I wish I didn't have to work
but I don't have that choice

so I guess until the day
no - even if I were to get rich
one thing is for damn sure
I will always be a bitch

What's all the fuss about Smorty?

I recently signed up with a service where you can get paid for blogging. If you have not heard of Smorty yet, let me tell you a little about this site. Smorty is a service connecting advertisers with bloggers who like to blog for money. I know I don’t mind making a few extra dollars here and there for blog advertising. So far, it has been very easy to signup and there are several opportunities available as soon as your blog is approved. There are a few rules that are very simple to follow.

First, there is a minimum requirement of 150 words and a maximum of 400 for blog entry approval. For some of us, that should be no problem - because if you get as excited as I do about making money, then you won’t have any issues coming up with the minimum.

Second, all posts must be written using correct grammar, so be sure that spell check is on. My suggestion is to type up your post in Word first, then paste it after you have checked your word count and spelling.

Next, your blog post must remain online and be permanent. Also, your blog must appear either as one of the recent blog entries on your home page, or be a clear link accessible from your home page.

These are very simple rules to follow, so why not give it a whirl and try out Smorty.

Look at the size of these JUGS!!!!

I did notice that one jug is slightly larger than the other, but hey, milk is milk, right?

*~Click here to see the pic~*

The Science of Gaydar

A very controversial subject was brought up on the Tyra Banks show last night that caught my attention – this was a re-run so some of you may have seen it before. The subject was about whether people can pinpoint and determine if a person is gay or not by specific characteristics and personal traits. It is by no means an exact science, but it was rather interesting to watch and see the research presenter on the show correctly identify 6 out the 6 guests that volunteered to test his theory.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Controversy over 'The Golden Compass'

There has been some criticism by the Catholic church that "The Golden Compass" is anti-religious. This movie, which is directed by Chris Weitz, is based on the first book of a trilogy by Philip Pullman. It has been said that Pullman was an "avowed atheist and has said in interviews that his books are about killing God''.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Pluto is no longer a planet

Officially, Pluto is no longer a planet. Scientists have deemed it a "dwarf planet", which by definition is any object that "has not cleared the neighborhood around its orbit, and is not a satellite." A new definition of a "planet" has finally been approved, and this took Pluto out of the full fledged planet listing.

*~Read All About It Here~*

10 Reasons Why We Should Have Sex..revised

Chemistry is what brings together science and sex. Researchers say attraction is more than meets the eye. It has also been said that mating is critical to our survival. Therefore, an investigation of science of love and mating came about. I have compiled a list of only 10 reasons why we SHOULD have sex.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Global Incident Map...revised

When you click on the website link, a world map comes up showing what strange and dangerous things are happening right now in every country in the entire world and is updated every few minutes. You can move the map around, zero in on any one area and actually up-load the story of what is going on.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Being left handed in a right handed world

Statistics show left-handed people are more likely to be schizophrenic, alcoholic, delinquent, dyslexic, and have Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, as well as mental disabilities. With this being said, it's not easy being a lefty, but this does not indicate that being left handed is a disability. Left-handers and ambidextrals routinely encounter difficulties in their daily lives that most right-handers do not fully appreciate. Most of these difficulties are trivial, annoying, and frustrating.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Motorcycle deaths on the rise!

Among all riders, motorcycle operators in the 20-29 age group had the largest percentage of fatal crashes even though this age group is purchasing fewer motorcycles than previous years. Speeding is one of the major contributors to fatalities in this age group. Is it inexperience, youthful exuberance and the need for speed, lack of proper training or a combination of the three that is causing the discrepancy?

*~Read All About It Here~*

Is the blogging craze coming to an end?

Research experts predicted in 2007 that the blogging craze will come to an end soon. Apparently, blogging has reached its peak and many are likely to become bored with it. There are some of us who love to blog, and will continue to blog 'til our hearts content, but there are others that will move on to other trends.

*~Read All About It Here~*

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10:
Life is sexually transmitted.


Number 9:
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 8:
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Number 7:
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.


Number 6:
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.


Number 5:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


Number 4:
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.


Number 3:
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


Number 2:
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?

Have you ever contemplated suicide?

I used to think about it - I've always been depressed as long as I can remember, just always been in different stages of it. I contemplated suicide a few times as I recall, but never did anything but think about it. I never attempted to hurt myself - it just seemed to sound like a good solution at the time. There was a point in my life when I wished for Armageddon to come and take us all out - that way I didn't have to consider suicide and not hurt my family and friends. That way, I wouldn't sin and go to hell (that is the Catholic belief; suicide is a sin, and if you committ suicide you are instantly banished to hell).

Lately, my depression has taken on a new form. I have no longer been sad, crying my eyes out until I had no tears left. I do not distance myself from coworkers, friends and family. I do not seek to fill a void with drugs and partying. I no longer wish for death to ease my pain, in fact, I do not wish to die for a long time. I have a son that needs his mother. I have a son that cannot depend on his father. I have family that enjoys my company and loves me.

My depression has turned into anger. I yell, I cuss, my blood pressure goes up and I can't see straight. I want to hurt someone - but I have enough commonsense to know that's not going to resolve any of my problems. I get mad, I yell, I hurt those around me and then I feel bad. I feel regret; maybe for what I said or because I could not control my outburst. Whatever the reason, I know I am wrong and I need help.

My dr. says I need to see a therapist. I have disregarded his advice for over a year now. I was on medication for anxiety for a while in 2006, and it did help. It helped so much that in 2007 I decided I was feeling better and I stopped taking the medicine. Then after about 3 months, I began to show symptoms again. It took me two more months before I made the decision to get back on the meds. I did not have the same results the 2nd time around. The medicine caused my already high blood pressure to elevate even more, which in turn resulted in migraines. I was taking 6 to 8 tylenols a day just to be able to function. I had to ween myself back off the meds and figure out a way to cope without these pills. I started taking a birth control pill which stated that it helped with symptoms of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) which is partly what I am suffering from...but I have not seen much improvement.

So, here I am today, trying to decide what I will do in 2008. I will:

1. go see a new dr. (female dr. familiar with pmdd symptoms)
2. possibly begin taking the medication again that seemed to help a while back
3. go see a therapist (physchotherapist, headshrink, psychologist... is there a difference?)
4. go CRAZY!!!! - if I don't do something soon.

Deep down inside, I'm a very loving, caring person...just learned some hard lessons in life very early on and been through some rough patches for a while now. Everybody's got issues, right?

Meme... its all about Me,Me!

Meme, tagging, generating more traffic - it's all good. I like the attention it brings to my blog. Some might say I'm an attention wh@re... ha ha ha, well you get the point.

I have been tagged by my dear friend Melissa who is the author of Here I am. Check her out and see what's she's about!

She likes the attention too!

So, for this tag, there are 5 rules...

1. Must be clean - no R rated sites
2. Only 5 links
3. Must tell 5 people
4. A link back to the person who tagged you
5. Lara's Place is the meme originator (an active link is appreciated)

Here are my five links:

Internet Bumper Stickers - I am a big fan of icons and these great bumper stickers, because pictures are worth a thousand words

Box.net - Access and share your files online, work on files from anywhere, protect important files and collaborate and share online. I signed up a while back for 5GB of space for only $2.99 a month. Now, that's a deal! I love my box.

Myxer Tones - The most stuff for your phone...ringtones, wallpapers, videos and more.

Zazzle - Infinite one-of-a-kind-ness; create your own custom anything

Restaurant.com - Find deals on neighborhood restaurants. I bought 2-$25 gift certificates for $10 each.

Here are the five blogs that I am tagging...

Truth to Power: Dissent into Gladness : I received a good review from Merlyn, and I truly like those that aren't afraid to say what's on their mind.

Jokes for all Seasons Blog : funny stuff here!

Ur Resident Chef : this lady shares her great cooking tips in this blog, and seems to be very busy with three other blogs while still actively looking for blogs to read.

Poetry Through the Years : so many poems for such a young person. An inspiration to all poets that just want to express themselves more than anything.

...On the Wall : this guy has a true passion for writing.

Let's start this year off right

My last blog was a very sad and personal note, so I hope to start this year off right with a few laughs.

My blogs will have its ups and downs, as does my life, but I hope you find some enjoyment in it all. Whether it be having a good laugh (on me) with the funny stuff, or thanking the Lord above that shit happens - but mostly to me, so you need not worry so much. Just when you think you're having a bad day, check out my blog for a pick me up!

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year!




HER FIRST ROLLER COASTER RIDE

DON'T MISS THE GUY IN THE BACKGROUND TO THE LEFT!

THE QUESTION IS...WAS CHRIS FARLEY EVER A SPERM DONOR?

LET'S JUST HOPE THEIR WIVES DON'T LIKE TO WATCH HOCKEY ON TV.

SOMETHING TELLS ME HE WON'T GROW UP TO BECOME A VET.

SO I CAN'T CHEW ON MYSELF, HUH? FINE.

DOH!

SOME FUN AT WORK.

SOMETIMES THE VIEW FROM BEHIND HOME PLATE ISN'T SO GREAT AFTER ALL.

HIS LAST DAY AT WORK.






LOOKS LIKE THE FAMILY CAT IS GOING OVERBOARD!





SOMEONE MUST REALLY LOVE HIS NEW STEP-MOM.




I'M SURE THIS WENT OVER WELL WITH THE OLD LADY.




NOW THAT'S CLASSY.




OUCH!




AFTER SEEING THIS I BET YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET TO WEAR SUN-SCREEN AGAIN.




AFTER 5 YEARS OF HEATED DEBATE, THE COMMISSION OF HUMAN
RIGHTS APPROVED THE NEW INTERNATIONAL SYMBOL OF MARRIAGE.